Wrath of the Electron

My mom and I are what my dad lovingly calls “Christmas Nazis.”

We can’t help it. We love Christmas. The music, the tree, the presents, the snow…it’s all so magical!
I will admit, though, that the lights can be extremely annoying. They flicker, half of them go out, they fade… Especially the LED. Always the LED. My mom has fought a vicious battle for years with her LED lights on the tree.

There were some years that I would be the one decorating the yard. I would lovingly hang lights in the trees, shrubs and along the driveway. This required a great deal of extension cords. All of my dad’s cords, save two or three, had probably been purchased during the Truman administration.

They were old, frayed, and dangerous. One of them nearly killed me.

The Christmas Resistance Movement (CRM)

Our tale of resistance and woe picks up right where it left off. I had been exiled to the basement, vowing revenge for my parents’ disgusting crime of Christmas befoulment:
1. The decorations would not go up until December 10.
2. The Muppet Christmas Carol would not be watched Christmas Eve. We could watch it the 23rd if we wanted to, but on Christmas Eve we would be doing other things.
3. The gingerbread house would be done much later in the season.
4. The lights on the tree, when it finally would go up, would be all blue.
That night, I held a meeting under the blankets in my sister’s room. It was the inaugural meeting of the Christmas Resistance Movement (CRM).